Soppho

W: My friend was interviewed for the newspaper today about her family farm. During the interview one of her turkeys ran right up to the interviewer and started humping his leg.
J: What did he do??
W: Nothing! He just stood there with the turkey attached to his leg as he was asking his questions.
J: Wow. You [...]

Henry wants to do the right thing.
Craft hope.
Love it.
<Hugs the internet>

Tweezers, twice
An entire roll of toilet paper
Nail clippers, three times
A new tube of concealer
About 6000 hair ties, one at a time (mostly)
The entire contents of a box of Q-tips
My CVS card
A glass bottle of foundation, which promptly disappeared (sorry, pipes!)
Eyeliner
My toothbrush
A pack of tampons
My boyfriend’s toothbrush
A bar of soap
My retainer
My cat’s favorite toy mouse
And, finally, [...]

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I love self-undermining vandalism; it saves me so much time.
But this is still my very favorite.