Things I have dropped into my toilet, since moving into my apartment

  1. Tweezers, twice
  2. An entire roll of toilet paper
  3. Nail clippers, three times
  4. A new tube of concealer
  5. About 6000 hair ties, one at a time (mostly)
  6. The entire contents of a box of Q-tips
  7. My CVS card
  8. A glass bottle of foundation, which promptly disappeared (sorry, pipes!)
  9. Eyeliner
  10. My toothbrush
  11. A pack of tampons
  12. My boyfriend’s toothbrush
  13. A bar of soap
  14. My retainer
  15. My cat’s favorite toy mouse
  16. And, finally, today’s crowning achievement–my favorite black sweater.

But I am soothed by the fact that I have never—unlike one of my college roommates—dropped my shoe in the toilet.

With my foot still in it.

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