To be fair, I can’t even say ‘honey’ with a straight face
Last month, Y Chrome’s family expanded their business and they’ve been getting a lot of press for it. W., who gets every paper on this side of the Mississippi, brought me one I hadn’t seen yet, and we were reading it together.
Me: Oh my god. His aunt actually says,“We need to sell this stuff, sugar.” SUGAR?
W: I know!
Me: The horror.
W: I think I know a lot about her now—very southern, yes?
Me: Yes. Well, sort of. She’s unmarried and doesn’t have kids, but does have a PhD, and, oddly, an investment in all things Southern Belle.
W: WOW. A PhD?
Me: That’s right, sugar.
W: I’m going to tack “sugar” on the end of all my sentences from now on, sugar. At work I’ll be all “I need 4 hours of time for those TPS reports, sugar!”
Me: I’m jumping out the window now, sugar.
W: Any plans to become Mrs. Chrome, sugar?
Me: No, ma’am, erm, sugar.