Soppho

Me: I’ve always wondered how people get on and off their bikes with their kids sitting in the little seats behind them. Seriously, how do they do it without tipping the bike over and dumping the kid on the ground?
Y Chrome: I’d be more worried about roundhouse kicking them in the face.
Me: Considering the number [...]

Presented without comment, the conversation outside of my window at 5 am:
Her: Don’t hit me! Why you hit me? Fuck you! Don’t fucking hit me!
Him: I didn’t mean to hit you! You fuckin’ hit me first! I didn’t mean to hit you! You fuckin’ hit me first! Bitch! I didn’t mean to hit you! [...]

W: Guess what’s coming to The Paramount.
Me: Based on precedent, probably something involving The Four Tops, The Symphony Orchestra, or some other show where the women in attendance still dress in beaded jackets with shoulder pads.
W: No! The US Pole Dance Federation East Coast Pole Dance Regional Competition ‘09!
Me: Oh. Of course….Wait! Really? At The Paramount of all places?
W: [...]

Out of sheer desperation love, I got Y Chromosome a Wii for his birthday. He decided to keep it over at my place, which is fine, except in order to play, we have to push my couch over to the other side of the living room, pushed up against the stove and fridge. In fact,  [...]

What did you get me?
Where did you get it?
Did you buy it in a store? If so, did it come in a paper bag or plastic? Did the bag have handles?
Did you buy it online? If so, did it arrive yet? Where will it arrive? Did you do package tracking?
Am I going to like [...]