I thought tandem biking would be more romantic
Out of sheer desperation love, I got Y Chromosome a Wii for his birthday. He decided to keep it over at my place, which is fine, except in order to play, we have to push my couch over to the other side of the living room, pushed up against the stove and fridge. In fact, if you swing widely enough, you can hit my bathroom door, refrigerator, cat, and coffee table in one fell swoop.
This isn’t the real problem, though. I’ve been living in this little 300 square foot apartment for over 4 years, and even shared it with someone else for about a year, so I’m used to the cramped quarters. The real issue is that, for the very first time in my life, I’m addicted to a video game. We had a whole series of games and systems growing up; between us, my sisters and I had a Nintendo, Super Nintendo, a Game Boy, and, inexplicably, three Game Gears. I played a little, but spent most of my time watching other people play. My Dad, on the other hand, would play our games during the week while we were at Mom’s house, and would inform us on the weekend, with no small amount of glee, that he had beat whatever game we had been laboring to finish.
As for me, I’m a closet junkie: “Why, no, baby, I don’t know why I have twice as many points as you in Wake boarding. Hm, 192 new games have been unlocked? Well, I guess the system is being really nice to us, huh? Oh, what was I doing while you were in lab last night? Why, my snowshoeing group, of course. Yes, in August. We like an early start!” (Smooth though I am, I think it would be best if the kibosh on my future plans to become a spy, bank robber, and serial philanderer, yes?)
I’ve vowed the kick the stuff, and never Wii alone, but, try as I might, the Wii still brings out the little deviant in me:
“Ugh! Stupid computer player! Get your bike away from me, you jerk! You ass! Take that!…Yeah, that’s right, I rammed into you. Oh, yeah. Yeeeahhh. And you like that, don’t you? You want more of that, don’t you? Because you’re a dirty, filthy, little–”
And then I realize Y Chromosome is staring at me.
“Erm. Sorry. That started as trash talk, and took a quick right turn into talking dirty. I guess that means we won’t be taking the Wii out to your family’s for Thanksgiving, huh?”