*cue music*…Here she comes…Miss Havisham…
Me: Judge me!! Think Simon rather than Paula: On a scale of 1-10, 1 being innocuous, 10 being “I won’t be ignored, Dan!!” Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction frightening, where does “buying a wedding dress before you’re engaged” fall on the scale? Normally I don’t even really like them, but I happened upon one the other day that I love, love, love, loveeeee and who knows if it’ll actually be around when I get married and plus it’s on SALE.
Mom: Oh good Lord, I don’t even know how to respond to this. When I crawl back up onto my chair after the shock and fall I’ll respond.
Older Sister: I almost bought a dress before I was engaged, because I knew it was coming soon. I can’t judge you. But if you want a place to hide it, you can bring it here. And maybe this would be a good way to say, ‘hey, so, what are our plans for the future?’
Me: Okay, so here’s the perfect plan: ‘Hey, so what are our plans for the future?’
*jumps out from behind bedroom door in full wedding apparel, waves sparklers and jazz hands in the direction of boiling rabbit on stove*
It’s foolproof, I tell ya, FOOLPROOF.
Mom: FOOL-ISH I tell ya, FOOL-ISH…Poor boy will have a heart attack.
Mom takes these plans so seriously that I can’t help but think she’s tried this tactic a time or two.