Soppho

Me: Woo to the hoo! Hells to the yeah! Hey, I see you over there! You best not be shaking your head at me like I’m crazy!
S: Milli Vanilli said it best: “Girl, you know it’s true.”
Me: I think you mean ‘Milli Vanilli lip synced it best’.
S: That’s fair, but it doesn’t make it [...]

Boy: So, what, you don’t think I’m fun to be around?
Girl: Of course I don’t; I’m dating you.
Boy: Why are you dating me then, to keep the general dating pool safe?
Girl: Yeah, it’s my job. They pay me to do it.
Boy: By the hour or salary?
Girl: Salary.
Boy: Very good then.

W: You remember the flag shorts we saw that runner wearing the other day? I was going to get you a pair for your birthday, but I couldn’t find any online.  Hm. Maybe he hand-made them.
Me:  Right. Using bits of old flags and the shreds of his dignity.
W: Well, the pieces of old flags are [...]

“Hm….” he says.
*thoughtful pause*
“I can still taste the pickle from lunch when I burp.”
Romance, people. ROMANCE.

W: Guess what’s coming to The Paramount.
Me: Based on precedent, probably something involving The Four Tops, The Symphony Orchestra, or some other show where the women in attendance still dress in beaded jackets with shoulder pads.
W: No! The US Pole Dance Federation East Coast Pole Dance Regional Competition ‘09!
Me: Oh. Of course….Wait! Really? At The Paramount of all places?
W: [...]