Soppho

Yesterday was Y Chromosome’s 25th birthday. Isn’t that great? But let’s cut to the important part—namely how this pertains to me.
I am 11 months older than Y Chrome, which everyone loves to point out. My mother calls me a cradle-robbing old hag. She can get away with this because I have an older sister far [...]

It’s that time of year: when the traffic gets bad again, finding seats at a restaurant is impossible, and I once more have to slalom my way down the stairs of my apartment building, weaving between used condoms, spilled beer, and puddles of half-digested Ramen noodles spiked with stomach acid.
That’s right: the students are back [...]

Last month, Y Chrome’s family expanded their business and they’ve been getting a lot of press for it. W., who gets every paper on this side of the Mississippi, brought me one I hadn’t seen yet, and we were reading it together.
Me: Oh my god. His aunt actually says,“We need to sell this stuff, sugar.” [...]

My guyfriend B. and I sitting alone in the movie theater on a quiet Sunday afternoon, two minutes before showtime. Two women walk in.
“Wow, this place is so popular today,” one of them says, as they take seats a couple of rows ahead of us.
“I know it. I was beginning to think we were going [...]

Me: Are you there W? It’s me, Margaret.
W: Did your period start?
Me: I’M TRYING TO GROW MY BOOBS.
W: Is there something you wanted, Margaret?
Me: BO—
W: OTHER THAN BOOBS?
Me: Well there was, but now nothing else seems as important.