Soppho

Their mugs sit at a perfect diagonal on opposite sides of the tiny coffee shop table. He stares deep into the screen of his laptop as he scrolls up and down the page of a news site. She gazes at a gallery of celebrity photos at the same news site, tapping “Next” almost as soon [...]

The most awesome let’s-be-friends pick up line I’ve gotten in a long time:
Hey, hey! I’m not that nice, and you’re not that nice, but I like that about us and feel it would be appropriate to ask: Next time the dude and I have a cookout, you wanna come?

Yesterday, Y Chromosome and I were sitting on my couch in our skivvies, drinking out of my cocktail recipe glass. I was showing him Cliche Kitty, which one of our friends used to have hanging in his bathroom (right over where the toilet paper would be, if ever he had some in stock), when there [...]

see more Fail Blog
I love self-undermining vandalism; it saves me so much time.
But this is still my very favorite.