Taking a definitive stand

I was upstairs talking to a friend on the phone for a couple of hours, and when I came back down, I found Y Chromosome in bed, half-asleep.
Me: Are you going to propose to me in the next week?
Y Chromosome: …No…Why?
Me: A certain short Italian man from Connecticut* seems to think you are. He told [...]

Maybe that’s why they’re called wisdom teeth

Whatever crap someone is trying to feed you about what love is—love is blind, love is trust, love is a herd of unicorns that fart rainbows and carry baskets of puppies that vomit moonbeams—don’t believe them.
Well, you can believe them, but know this: love will eventually lead you here: with your beloved sitting on a [...]

In which I make all of my life decisions based on pronunciation

After several months and a good deal of half-hearted searching, I’m pleased to report that I am finally moving, and Y Chrome is officially moving in with me. (His body already lives here, but his clothes, furnishings, and shameful boy things I’m sure I’m about to discover, have all taken up residence elsewhere.) The move [...]

That’s a good belle

When I was younger, I always thought it was strange when people made a big deal about the deaths of celebrities, often people I’d never heard of. I’d watch images of people leaving flowers, or crying, or holding vigils, and feel bewildered at the outpouring of grief for people they didn’t even know.
It turns out, [...]

Remind me not to play this game anymore

Me: Okay, how about those little crusty things you get in your eyes when you sleep? What did you call those when you were a kid?
Y Chromosome: Sleepers.
Me: Really?! REALLY?! I did, too! Finally, we found some sort of commonality in our childhoods. This is exciting. Sleepers, yeah!
Y Chrome: Well, sometimes we called them ’sleepers’, [...]