When I handed over the fabric to Mom, I probably should have specified which way I wanted the birds to fly.

This is the fabric I chose for a the closet door in our office. Lest you think I’ve gone all domestic on you, I still can’t sew worth a damn. My mom took the fabric home to make the curtain for me. Let the record show that she rules.

Damn you, August, and your 31 days. How could I stop at 30 days of fun, and leave your final day out in the cold?

Say what you will about Candy Corn, and its sugar, sugar, and more sugar held together exclusively by high fructose corn syrup. Say what you will about that sick feeling you get if you eat more than a small handful. Say what you will about it being available in the supermarket before it’s even September. I spied it in the store and I had to have it.

I’m not sorry.

I’d never had anything professionally framed before, and doing so made me feel particularly grown up. Not grown up in the sense that real adults have real art hanging from their wall, but in the sense that they complain about how expensive things are. And holy cow, I knew that framing was expensive, but I had no idea it was that expensive.

With that in mind, although they were ready for us on the 23rd, we decided to wait until the aftershocks from the earthquake abated before we brought them home.

My dear friends just had a baby, if by “just” you mean three weeks before I sent off their present. If only there were some sort of way to know that a baby was coming—maybe some sort of waiting or gestation period— so I wouldn’t spend the three weeks following the baby’s birth frantically crocheting up a storm.

Meanwhile, if ever new parents knew how much profanity comes flying out of my mouth as I’m struggling to make a baby blanket, they’d never let the baby near it, but rather place it in a hazmat bag and try to bury it at sea. So let’s just keep that our little secret, okay?

When we had finished eating Y Chrome’s birthday cake, his Dad sat back in his chair, sighed, and declared that I should be the official cake baker for all future birthdays. Maybe he was just trying to save some of his family members from a little work, but I totally took the bait, sat down with my cookbooks, and flagged nearly ever dessert in them. Pumpkin cheesecake is birthday-appropriate, right?

We plucked some of the first apples of the season before the hurricane winds knocked them off the trees.

We had a combined celebration for the birthdays of Y Chrome and his cousin, who were born only 6 days apart. For Y Chrome, I baked a coconut cake. For his cousin, who doesn’t like cake, I bought a carton of Rocky Road ice cream, and stuck some candles in the top. Her ice cream looked better, but I’m still thinking about that cake.

I firmly believe that every once in a while you should buy a piece of clothing or an accessory that falls outside of your comfort zone (something cheap! definitely something cheap!). You may end up loving it. And even if it’s a total wash, and you vow never to wear the thing in public, it’s always fun to parade around the house in your cast-offs.

Matilda is one of my oldest and most beloved books. When I was a kid, I’d finish reading it, then flip it right back over and start at the beginning again. These days, I read it when I need soothing or distracting. When last I picked up the book, a spate of plane tickets from several different trips over several years fell out. Lucky for me, this time I was going nowhere near a plane; I just needed some cheering after a long day.

It still works like a charm.